b a c k a t s w a t...
grr. it was so nice to be home. i missed my bed, my father's cooking, pj. i would do anything to be back home. swarthmore is the last place that i want to be right now. there are so many things i miss about home that i never thought i would. like falling asleep to cars passing, the gum on sidewalks especially. here in swarthmore the sidewalks are so clean, and at home the sidewalks have polka dots all over. everytime i hear a siren here i miss home. i miss nyc. i miss starbucks and b&n with friends, i miss driving down river road and seeing the nyc skyline at night. i miss going to shows, shows in cliffside, shows in lyndhurst, shows in montclair. i miss junta, hometown anthem, aspen it is. i miss high tech, those yellow tiled walls, the people. everyone single one of them. i miss hanging out in the mall area every morning with the same people talking about nothing but having the best time. i miss driving around, windows down music up with friends laughing about god knows what. less than three weeks until i return and i cant wait. home is home, good and bad things. i mean, when i went home for thanksgiving break i was greeted with these two headlines (http://www.nj.com/news/jjournal/jerseycity/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1132740667168560.xml&coll=3) thats my neighbor. ive lived next to him my whole life. he had a harley davidson that he'd let me sit on when i was little while he was fixing it. he had lived there his whole life and would tell us how the block looked when he was younger. and how his house and my house were the a couple of the few little houses. and now look. they had his funeral procession on sunday. the police escorted his hearse, and there were ten motorcycles there, they stopped in front of his house and revved their engines. and then theres this (http://www.nj.com/news/jjournal/jerseycity/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1132913476222420.xml&coll=3) a block from my house. why would i want to live in all that? why?? b/c its home and i couldn't have it any other way. i've lived in jersey city my whole life. and its home to me. i cant deal with swarthmore all the time. i should have gone to a city school
11.29.2005
11.22.2005
going home in a few hours. WOOT WOOT. i cant wait. home food is calling me. i hear it.
bumped into diego today in sharples. totally weird and amazing. its so nice seeing people from back home. nice to see someone's applying here. hooray.
i losts my id. :( boohoo
bumped into diego today in sharples. totally weird and amazing. its so nice seeing people from back home. nice to see someone's applying here. hooray.
i losts my id. :( boohoo
11.20.2005
currently without voice.
great. just what i always wanted. i'm going home on tuesday! woot woot! i havent been home since october break.. which will be 5 weeks (or 6 i havent counted).
i woke up at 3 today. it was amazing. 10 hours of sleep can make amazing things happen. pre-registration starts tomorrow. i best get into:
intro to mathematical thinking
latin american religious arena
poducing/consuming- caribbean
intro to psyc
russian fairy tales
FO SHO
great. just what i always wanted. i'm going home on tuesday! woot woot! i havent been home since october break.. which will be 5 weeks (or 6 i havent counted).
i woke up at 3 today. it was amazing. 10 hours of sleep can make amazing things happen. pre-registration starts tomorrow. i best get into:
intro to mathematical thinking
latin american religious arena
poducing/consuming- caribbean
intro to psyc
russian fairy tales
FO SHO
11.18.2005
woot! this week has gone by muy rapido. i'm still getting over tuesday. it was flippin SUUUWEEET. i <3 rooney. fo serious. and in a few weeks im going to see hellogoodbye. its too bad i cant go see bright eyes next week. but its nuts, how often will he come back to the ghetto? nothing cool like that ever happens in jersey city. maybe i'll run into conor oberst in some hip cafe friday night.... wait... its jersey city.. maybe i'll run into him on some dark corner as he attempts to buy pot/any illegal narcotic in the projects. (thats more like it) hooray for gangsta life.
life has been good. good friends, good times. i think i have another weekend before i start to realize i have so much shit due at the end of the semester and i flip out. heh. until then. woRD to your MOM.
life has been good. good friends, good times. i think i have another weekend before i start to realize i have so much shit due at the end of the semester and i flip out. heh. until then. woRD to your MOM.
11.16.2005
uhh.. this looks fancy. so i signed up. perhaps as a new place for me to vent? (in addition to both xanga and livejournal) we'll see how this works out.
...pulled from lj. i guess sort of just a summary of summer? its always nice to remember summer/spring, even all the not so fun things that happened.
umm. ok so its been quite a while since ive updated (before prom) and yea. thats quite some time ago, i didnt even know i was going to go to swarthmore. that was quite some time ago.
ok, so since then. brief overview of my life
in MARCH.. "march madness" me and susan got majorly close not a day went by that she wasnt at my house and i wasnt at hers. we did everything together. we went to our first death metal show together and fell in love with junta (and more speficially alex) i could talk to her about everything. she was different than tanya, i felt weird talking about guys and relationships with tanya, but with susan i could. within 3 weeks, it was like as if we had been friends forever. March is sort of a blur, i do remember the party at the end of march. it was supposed to be a lot bigger (with several guys i was interested in attending) but her sister found out and threatened to tell her father (her mom was on a business trip) so we ended up changing it and having it later and with less people. and i found out i am clearly the best jello shot maker. ever. we ended up having leftover smirnoff, which was consumed at various points throughout the next month or so. and then came..
APRIL. again a big blur, but another party occured at susans house with tiki, and some of t's friends. it was a monday night, and school was the next day. but somehow one friend of a friend of tikis managed to come back to susans house drunk at 4 am banging on her bedroom window saying it was fucked up that we werent letting him in. so that was like the scare of my life. and sometime in april i met favio. yea, favio...
MAY, was spent going to more shows. one in particular was seeing HELLOGOODBYE in lyndhurst with tiki and susan. we feel in love with the band roma. then of course MAY 13 happened. bad experience involving favio, me and susan. got over it and a week later the monday before senior prom, the worst thing of my life.which sort of put a damper on my whole prom experience. Bringing favio as a date was not a good idea. i probably would have done better going by myself.
JUNE.. a blur, running around with yearbook business, getting excited about leaving (and somewhat sad at the same time) failing my physics final MISERABLY (getting a 35.. which included extra points). and it was my only final so that was pretty sad. Showed my lack of caring senior year.
SUMMER. counting down the days till swarthmore. pretty much did nothing. i got my license, and drove around a lot. went to starbucks a lot. just b/c i could. hung out with tiki a lot. and ugh. hooked up with mike. great while it happened. not great when i learned he had a g/f. and then later when i told his gf she got mad at me. which is sort of making me swear off boys (but i cant help liking boys. one in particular) ok. so , getting home at 3:30 in the morning after being out with him, and being totally lectured by my parents perhaps was not worth it. but i learned my lesson. boys suck. and they lie. and... and... i need to find a good one.
so here at swarthmore. things are ok. but in the back of my mind im thinking about the possibility of transferring. most likely to conn college. swarthmore is fabulous and the classes are good and all, but i dont feel 100% comfortable here. i cant hold a decent conversation with my roommates or hallmates. and i cling to tanya and sachi too much. and i get depressed too easily here when even the littlest bad thing happens. i mean, the first weekend (two weekends ago) i had a good time at some parties. i had some drinks, got loosened up and talked to people. but then when i see them again i have nothing to say. it sucks that the only time im lively and social, is when im tipsy.
and then theres "the boy" the one that tanya and sachi tease me about my lack of balls. my inability to talk to him. (i did, once, but i had had a few drinks and i was unsure of how many he had, so i didnt want to have a "meaningful" conversation and him not remember it in the morning.) and i say hi to him when i see him, and he says hi back. but that is the extent of our speaking. and i dont have the balls to sit next to him at dinner. or ask him if hes doing anything at his dorm (which is where i talked to him).
the end
...pulled from lj. i guess sort of just a summary of summer? its always nice to remember summer/spring, even all the not so fun things that happened.
umm. ok so its been quite a while since ive updated (before prom) and yea. thats quite some time ago, i didnt even know i was going to go to swarthmore. that was quite some time ago.
ok, so since then. brief overview of my life
in MARCH.. "march madness" me and susan got majorly close not a day went by that she wasnt at my house and i wasnt at hers. we did everything together. we went to our first death metal show together and fell in love with junta (and more speficially alex) i could talk to her about everything. she was different than tanya, i felt weird talking about guys and relationships with tanya, but with susan i could. within 3 weeks, it was like as if we had been friends forever. March is sort of a blur, i do remember the party at the end of march. it was supposed to be a lot bigger (with several guys i was interested in attending) but her sister found out and threatened to tell her father (her mom was on a business trip) so we ended up changing it and having it later and with less people. and i found out i am clearly the best jello shot maker. ever. we ended up having leftover smirnoff, which was consumed at various points throughout the next month or so. and then came..
APRIL. again a big blur, but another party occured at susans house with tiki, and some of t's friends. it was a monday night, and school was the next day. but somehow one friend of a friend of tikis managed to come back to susans house drunk at 4 am banging on her bedroom window saying it was fucked up that we werent letting him in. so that was like the scare of my life. and sometime in april i met favio. yea, favio...
MAY, was spent going to more shows. one in particular was seeing HELLOGOODBYE in lyndhurst with tiki and susan. we feel in love with the band roma. then of course MAY 13 happened. bad experience involving favio, me and susan. got over it and a week later the monday before senior prom, the worst thing of my life.which sort of put a damper on my whole prom experience. Bringing favio as a date was not a good idea. i probably would have done better going by myself.
JUNE.. a blur, running around with yearbook business, getting excited about leaving (and somewhat sad at the same time) failing my physics final MISERABLY (getting a 35.. which included extra points). and it was my only final so that was pretty sad. Showed my lack of caring senior year.
SUMMER. counting down the days till swarthmore. pretty much did nothing. i got my license, and drove around a lot. went to starbucks a lot. just b/c i could. hung out with tiki a lot. and ugh. hooked up with mike. great while it happened. not great when i learned he had a g/f. and then later when i told his gf she got mad at me. which is sort of making me swear off boys (but i cant help liking boys. one in particular) ok. so , getting home at 3:30 in the morning after being out with him, and being totally lectured by my parents perhaps was not worth it. but i learned my lesson. boys suck. and they lie. and... and... i need to find a good one.
so here at swarthmore. things are ok. but in the back of my mind im thinking about the possibility of transferring. most likely to conn college. swarthmore is fabulous and the classes are good and all, but i dont feel 100% comfortable here. i cant hold a decent conversation with my roommates or hallmates. and i cling to tanya and sachi too much. and i get depressed too easily here when even the littlest bad thing happens. i mean, the first weekend (two weekends ago) i had a good time at some parties. i had some drinks, got loosened up and talked to people. but then when i see them again i have nothing to say. it sucks that the only time im lively and social, is when im tipsy.
and then theres "the boy" the one that tanya and sachi tease me about my lack of balls. my inability to talk to him. (i did, once, but i had had a few drinks and i was unsure of how many he had, so i didnt want to have a "meaningful" conversation and him not remember it in the morning.) and i say hi to him when i see him, and he says hi back. but that is the extent of our speaking. and i dont have the balls to sit next to him at dinner. or ask him if hes doing anything at his dorm (which is where i talked to him).
the end