b a c k a t s w a t...

grr. it was so nice to be home. i missed my bed, my father's cooking, pj. i would do anything to be back home. swarthmore is the last place that i want to be right now. there are so many things i miss about home that i never thought i would. like falling asleep to cars passing, the gum on sidewalks especially. here in swarthmore the sidewalks are so clean, and at home the sidewalks have polka dots all over. everytime i hear a siren here i miss home. i miss nyc. i miss starbucks and b&n with friends, i miss driving down river road and seeing the nyc skyline at night. i miss going to shows, shows in cliffside, shows in lyndhurst, shows in montclair. i miss junta, hometown anthem, aspen it is. i miss high tech, those yellow tiled walls, the people. everyone single one of them. i miss hanging out in the mall area every morning with the same people talking about nothing but having the best time. i miss driving around, windows down music up with friends laughing about god knows what. less than three weeks until i return and i cant wait. home is home, good and bad things. i mean, when i went home for thanksgiving break i was greeted with these two headlines (http://www.nj.com/news/jjournal/jerseycity/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1132740667168560.xml&coll=3) thats my neighbor. ive lived next to him my whole life. he had a harley davidson that he'd let me sit on when i was little while he was fixing it. he had lived there his whole life and would tell us how the block looked when he was younger. and how his house and my house were the a couple of the few little houses. and now look. they had his funeral procession on sunday. the police escorted his hearse, and there were ten motorcycles there, they stopped in front of his house and revved their engines. and then theres this (http://www.nj.com/news/jjournal/jerseycity/index.ssf?/base/news-1/1132913476222420.xml&coll=3) a block from my house. why would i want to live in all that? why?? b/c its home and i couldn't have it any other way. i've lived in jersey city my whole life. and its home to me. i cant deal with swarthmore all the time. i should have gone to a city school